Taking Criticism Personally Won’t Help You

If you reach the level others are reacting to your content in a critical light, consider yourself successful.  The fact you are being mentioned organically at all is a positive signal even if it does not seem that way initially.  Media outlets have known this for years and by embracing it have formed pretty thick skin.  They don’t take criticism personally, rather, they quietly (and sometimes loudly) leverage it to increase their own exposure.

Yet businesses and individuals new to the web still aren’t used to getting truly honest feedback or participating in the raw nature of online conversations.

If you are publishing digital content, grow thicker skin

Those of us who have been around since the early days of boards and forums are the true social web natives.  And we remember the days the web was far more real and raw.  To be honest, it feels like digital conversations have tamed a bit over the last decade.  Some still carry that unrestricted spirit with us and continue to drive the web’s rawest conversations, however many who are new still don’t understand this is the original nature of the social web.

The point is, digital conversations are honest, real and critical as the default, and you need to grow thicker skin and not take things personally.  What exactly do you gain by taking a conversation started by someone else or criticism by someone else personally?  The answer is nothing:  you’re expending emotion without purpose and you have nothing to gain here by getting upset.  In fact, in no area of life is getting upset a productive reaction to something.

Everyone’s worldview and personality are different

What this means is if you are actually unique and publishing content that’s interesting and has personality, it is going to be interpreted in different ways by others.  Along with that – some people will love it, some will hate it – but that’s the nature of doing something personal.

This is why most corporate blogs suck, they don’t publish anything with personality that actually speaks to anyone.  Content needs personality if you hope to influence anyone.  This lack of personality is also the reason no one reads most corporate blogs:  they try to appeal to everyone, and upset no one.  To do this means you also won’t speak or connect with anyone.

If you’re doing things right, you’re going to spark criticism and debates.  That’s sort of the point, and those who get upset they are actually generating reactions – whether positive or negative – show a lack of understanding and strategy.

Taking criticism the wrong way makes you seem guilty and unsure

If you react to criticism personally, in many cases this can make you seem guilty and unsure about yourself.  If you react calmly and rationally your response can be a great thing:  audiences will want to read what happened next and the party who responded initially will usually link the next piece of the conversation.  But freaking out about the situation and simply giving an emotional response is almost always going to make you look worse than something measured and logical.

Not everything needs a response

Sometimes, the best move is no move at all.  Depending on the situation and your strategy, you might actually be wrong about something (i.e., what if you’re just being controversial for the sake of getting links and attention).  In that case, you might not want to respond to everyone whose buttons you just pushed, as that was the end objective.

Leverage criticism for results, or yield this to your competitors

Analysis, commentary and controversy are proven frameworks: ignore them at your own peril.  If you ignore these and decide to play it safe, how can you possibly expect to be as interesting and receive as much attention as competitors?  When nearly the whole world plays to the middle and refuses to have opinions and take sides for fear of upsetting others, it’s a huge opportunity for you to do this and position against fearful and “by the rules” competitors.

If you publish industry-specific content not well sourced, don’t be surprised if others pick apart your ideas

The reason isn’t personal, it’s because you’re spreading misinformation about something a group is highly passionate about.  So they are going to challenge your sources.  And remember, just because someone publishes a stat or data point doesn’t make it accurate or accountable.  Look into the sources and sample sizes of any data you’re getting.  If it’s not legitimate or defensible and you publish it, of course you’re going to get flamed by industry insiders.

The more popular your content, the more critical the reactions will be

Popularity and criticism are directly proportional in nearly all fields of content.  Think about music as one example:  those really passionate about music are going to be inevitably critical about popular music that follows predictable archetypes and takes no risks or has cheesy, shallow lyrics.  Or even movies – movie buffs are going to rip most blockbusters apart.  The inner circle are usually bored with what’s popular because it’s overdone in their eyes, ensuring the more popular something is, the more critical reactions will be.

Audiences (but not influence) tends to gravitate to the middle:  if you want more readers just be shallower.  But if you want more influence and trust, go deeper.  And, as you go deeper, the reactions will usually be less snarky and more discussion-oriented among the influential minority.  It all depends what your goals are.

Conclusion

Develop an understanding of how others are likely to react to your ideas and then publish with that in mind.  But at no point in your digital publishing should you take critical responses personally.  Learn from them, sure, but investing emotion is in most cases futile.  It’s just not a productive use of time and is likely to drain your energy and motivation more than help.

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